Our Story

On January 12, 2008 our lives changed forever.

Gabriel Ryan blinked a sleepy pair of dark grey eyes and became the start of our new family, and after a tiresome but healthy pregnancy, my dream to become a mommy had finally come true. Although Gabriel arrived about a week premature and endured a few days of jaundice, he was nevertheless alert and healthy, picked up nursing right away, and quickly began to gain weight and thrive.

Over the next several months, we delighted in our new treasure, watching Gabriel form his first social smiles, giggles and coos. We joyfully watched as he eventually triumphed over the awkwardness of newborn limitations, and learned to hold his head up sit up, roll over and crawl…all perfectly on schedule for a healthy developing baby.

As friends and relatives came and went, Gabriel displayed a social, happy personality that bewitched everyone he encountered.  He would let anyone hold him, loved social games like peek-a-boo and tickles and had a smile that could instantly melt hearts.

I’ll never forget the day Gabriel first called me “Mama”.  He was about nine months old… He was playing on the bed with his dad, and as I walked toward them both from the doorway, he looked me in the eye and cried out “Mama!” with a great big welcoming smile . I knew in that moment, that he knew who I was… that I was his mommy and I beamed with pride as I imagined all of the wonderful things I would get to hear him say over the following years.  Gabriel soon began saying “da-da” and  “ba-ba” as well, which even surprised us as we were exposing Gabriel to two different languages, English and Portuguese, and so we expected his expressive language to be somewhat delayed.

It wasn’t much longer before Gabriel was showing interest in trying to walk. He was already pulling up to furniture and crab-walking while holding on, so we were sure it couldn’t be much longer.  Then finally around 11 months of age, he attempted a first step. Unfortunately, the poor thing fell flat on his face.  After a few tears and scrapes, I knew the moment when he’d try again couldn’t be far off…

But that moment didn’t come. He would let me help him walk around by holding his hand, but if I let go, he would howl like the wind. He was fearful and anxious…not like his usual self.  And by the time he turned one year old, we began to notice some other disturbing changes as well. Gabriel wasn’t looking at us anymore.  He had stopped saying “ma-ma” and “da-da”, and he didn’t want to do anything but watch Baby Einstein videos.  Still, every now and then, if we were really loud and silly, Gabriel would check back in with us, give us a look or a smile here and there, so I kept telling myself that things were really okay. I told myself that it was just a phase of independence.

A few months later, while we were visiting family in Brazil, Gabriel at the age of 15 months  finally started to walk independently, but I was alarmed at the way he avoided interaction with his cousin, only 4 months older than him. He thwarted every attempt she made to play with him or hug him.   Was this the same boy I had seen play spontaneously with other children his age and flirt with women in grocery stores just months earlier? I became increasingly worried. Gabriel was still our sweet little boy, but he was different somehow.

After returning home to the states, it became even clearer to me just how different Gabriel was becoming. Now able to walk, Gabriel would spend much of his time pacing back and forth in the living room and spinning in circles. We also couldn’t seem to get his attention at all. We would call out his name over and over again, and get no response. I would try to teach him things, and couldn’t get him to sit and pay attention.  I just couldn’t understand what was happening to my little boy. It was then that I decided to do some research about Gabriel’s behavior…and I found the “A” word.

Autism

To be honest, I was already fairly familiar with autism. My last job had been as a support specialist for adults with disabilities like Autism and Down’s Syndrome.  I just never made the connection between the behavior I had seen before with the behavior my son was now showing.  How could this have happened? What had we done wrong? Never in my life had I imagined that this could happen to me, to us, to our family. I remember staring at the computer screen for hours, tears streaming, scouring the internet for hope…for some chance this could be something else. Something temporary. Something curable.

Hope did come, but not exactly in the way I wanted. It was definitely autism, but I quickly learned that there were things out there that could help him. It was not a death sentence, although it certainly felt that way at times.  We found out about some dietary changes that were helping some kids with autism and we began to take things out of his diet like dairy products and grains. It wasn’t a cure, but it did help. Gabriel got back some of the sparkle in his eyes and began to give us some eye contact again. He would also laugh and imitate us a little bit, even though it was only very basic things.

It’s been a tough road since that time. Gabriel is now 3 and a half, and although we know we have a long and arduous path ahead, we have seen some improvements due to various therapies we have tried. He has developed some basic language. He can communicate some of his most important wants and needs, but he still struggles greatly with communication and socialization. Peer-aged friends are pretty much non-existent for him. He cannot relate to children his age.

It was only a few months ago that I came across a book called “The Myth of Autism” by Dr. Michael Goldberg.  In it, Dr.Goldberg postulates that if a child develops normally for one to two years and then suddenly regresses behaviorally and loses skills, that child cannot have a permanent genetic and/or developmental disability called “autism”. It must be something else, a condition triggered by a disease process, which could be immune-based or viral in nature.  This instantly made sense to me. Gabriel, after all, seemed just fine as a baby. He was interactive, social, responded to his name and displayed interest in other babies his age. Not I, nor anyone else in the family imagined that Gabriel was anything but a typical, healthy child.  It was right around the age of one that he seemed to withdraw.  Even his face had seemed to change. His eyes went from bright and alert, to red, puffy and dull.

We have been working with Dr. Goldberg for 3 months now who is treating our son for what he calls NIDS (Neuro-Immune Dysfunction Syndrome).  His protocol basically consists of dietary restrictions and medications designed to take stress off of an immune system gone haywire.  Dr. Goldberg believes that the rise in “autism” we are seeing today is really the result of a chronic inflammatory process in the brain caused by immune dysfunction and in some cases viruses.  We have just begun the protocol and are already seeing some positive results. Gabriel is exhibiting more language and his receptive language and comprehension seem to be improving as well.  He has also learned to ride his tricycle independently!

I decided to create this blog to be able to easily update relatives and friends on Gabriel’s progress, his victories and achievements… and just generally on our life as one of the many autism families out there struggling and hanging on to hope as tight as we can. We hope that you will follow our story and continue to support us and Gabriel, because believe me, it does help.  

The world of autism can be a lot to bear, so I want this blog to be first and foremost a place of celebration.  A place to celebrate our little boy, who works so hard to achieve what comes so naturally to others.  It is our sincere wish that we can build a community of friends around us to share in that. So, we hope that you’ll join our little family, stick around and help us Give it up 4 Gabriel…